Well Designed: A Human Design Podcast

[00:00:00] Intro to today's episode
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Kyle Wood: Hey everyone. Welcome back to Well Designed Today. Uh oh. I'm joined as usual by my co-host Brandy. Brandy. You can say hi,

Brandi Healy: Hi. How's it going,

Kyle Wood: There we go.

Brandi Healy: I love that I always ask how it's going, even though we already know since we usually chat before we get started.

Kyle Wood: Yeah, I mean, I think it's one of those like ingrained conversational things.

[00:00:27] How to deal with small talk as a Projector
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Kyle Wood: Uh, I was actually thinking the other day, and I'm gonna get sidetracked before we even talk about the topic, but you can read it on your phone in the title, so you can just wait. Uh, that's not you, Brandy, I'm talking to you.

That's the listener. I, as a, I feel like as a projector, I like that question of like, how you, how are you doing? or what have you been up to? Like, drives me crazy. And I don't know, I, I feel like it's a projector thing. I feel like if I was a generator, I would probably enjoy having something to respond to. But as a projector, I'm like, do you really want me to answer this question? Because like, we're gonna go deep and you are probably, I'm

Brandi Healy: how much time do you have

Kyle Wood: shit outta you and you're, you're going to be like, ah. And um,

Brandi Healy: I'm sorry, I asked. Yeah, do not ask us an open-ended question unless you're like, ready. Ready for a

Kyle Wood: Yeah, and maybe 'cause it, it's like it's an invitation, but it's not really, 'cause I don't really want to know everything that's going on for you. So then I really struggled to like, work out what to say because like lots of my issues week to week have to do with, um, like my kids, so what are my kid, you know, or, or my business. And those are like sort of the two things I spend. The most time on. Um, and what's happening in both those places is really interesting to me, but I

know for other people it's probably not. So, yeah. So I can't work out with that. If I should continue being annoyed about this question or if it's something like I need to deal with because maybe like

Brandi Healy: give a can dancer. Give a can Dancer

Kyle Wood: a canned answer.

Just good.

Brandi Healy: they want, people wanna hear fine

Kyle Wood: Yeah, fine. No, duh. I don't like that either. I feel more like inclined to be the other way. Like I'll just start giving people long, detailed answers and then they'll just stop asking because like if you're trying to

Brandi Healy: I think that that's where I am.

Kyle Wood: if you're checking in with me, like on my actually checking in my wellbeing and I start telling you about like Like, are you really open to me talking about if I'm really struggling with something or, you know, so yeah, drives me crazy. That answer. Oh, that question,

Brandi Healy: Well, I feel like I'm at the, that place, not with you, with others where they don't ask me anymore. 'cause they don't wanna know. , they've been, they've been projected to death and they're like, don't talk to her.

Kyle Wood: I'm gonna practice this See people come All right. Onto today's topic. So today we've been trying to come up with some, we've been really enjoying doing our series in the centers, and from what we're hearing from you listening is you're really enjoying them too. So we're definitely gonna keep, Posting our deep dives on each center so you can keep following along with your chart. But we also wanted to come up with some sort of real life episodes where this is how human design will just show up in your day-to-day life and, and then sort of what you can do about it. So just like things to look out for.

[00:03:42] Common ways we compare (and envy) other human design types
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Kyle Wood: So today we're talking about The sort of self, like negative self-talk we might have by our type. And this is the thing that we tend to feel our inspiration for. This was like what makes us feel really guilty because it's different by type and we can think what makes us feel guilty, um, is usually we are comparing ourselves to one or more of the other types and how they operate. And we're feeling like, why can't we be more like that? And I think especially it's huge for generators and manifesting generators too, but especially for projectors, reflectors and manifestors. If you're one of those types because you're in that minority, it can feel like, especially like, oh, I'm really alone in, in feeling this way. But that being said, we definitely see with the generators and manifesting generators that they really can beat themselves up. Hold themselves back, uh, because they feel really guilty operating naturally as their type. Um, do you have anything you wanna add to that Brandy as part of the intro?

Brandi Healy: I think just that it not only understanding, you know, as we talk through this, Where you personally might be feeling guilty, like we usually mention knowing the people close to you, whether they're partners, family members, colleagues.

Kyle Wood: Mm-hmm.

Brandi Healy: Um, understanding this for others as well can be really useful because oftentimes we might not even see it as guilt and we deny ourselves these things, but when we can recognize it in the people close to us, we can help

Help and support them to navigate through some of this negative self-talk.

Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yes. That's a big one. And I mean, I My wife's the same type as me. Your, your husband's different. But yeah, it's definitely helpful for me to observe that in her. And, um, she was actually the inspiration for this um, episode today. She was like, what is it about me that, um, I feel guilty about this? So maybe we'll start there.

[00:05:53] Why Projectors beat themselves up for feeling lazy (or not doing enough)
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Kyle Wood: Should we start with projectors?

Brandi Healy: right, let's.

Kyle Wood: Okay. So, as projectors. We know we don't have a defined sacral center, so our energy ebbs and flows. And so it could be really tempting as a projector to try and keep up with everyone else around us. So the thing we tend to feel most guilty about is like being lazy. The big capital L word. It's like being lazy, not doing enough, and if there's recognition there. So if people are like, Seeing us and inviting us to help them do things. There can be a real desire to be like, oh, I'm gonna do all of the things and really try and keep up. Um, but that just doesn't, it just never ends Well,

Brandi Healy: No. Speaking from the other side of that, it, it, it, it can be, it could be disastrous depending on how long it goes on for. Right? And it could be something as simple as us, you know, turning down an obli, like an invitation for a social commitment and trying to keep up socially it can show up, you know, in, you know, for those of us that are parents in

you know, how we connect with like our children's school and like the types of birthday parties we throw, or, you know, in the workplace, you know, keeping up with colleagues or, you know, e even if for most people that listen to this, you know, if you're an entrepreneur, you know, people that work more traditional, you know, corporate jobs, you know, and as a verse to how you've set your.

Business up to operate that suits you and your energy. There can be that comparison to, I can't do that, or I can't keep up with that. Or when you do, why am I so tired? Why am I lazy? Why don't I, why can't I keep up?

Kyle Wood: yeah. The parenting one's huge, especially with like the expectation of how many bloody activities your kids have to do these days

that

Brandi Healy: Mm

Kyle Wood: my wife and I often are like, W we are both projectors. One of our daughters is a projector, so we do try and like moderate how many things we commit to. Um, and yeah, sometimes, yeah, we feel lazy 'cause our friends' kids will be doing like 17 different activities each week. we are just like,

Nope.

Brandi Healy: Us too. Like both of our children have open sacral centers and. You know, that's something that we take into consideration as well. Even their social commitments, you know, they get invited to birthday parties and, you know, gatherings with other kids. And when we ask them and they say, you know, no, I don't wanna do that.

I think as a child I can remember like a, not even being asked, it's like, you're going to do this and like not wanting to, and. Be just like not thinking I had a choice.

And so like really teaching both of them at, from a young age, it's like to be able to honor what they have the energy for to show up to.

And like the, you know, their closest friends, the people that they really enjoy, like they want to go.

But you know, to the, the activities or the things like . You know, they're, they'll just be like, no, I don't really wanna do that.

And there's like this conditioned part of me that wants to be like, are you sure?

Or like, they invited you. That's not nice. And to just be like, no, like I respect . Your desire in this case, you know, when it's possible. That's not always the case, but you know, in when it is possible, it, it's a nice thing to start to teach some young.

[00:09:53] How Projectors can honour and embrace their need for rest (and why the world needs them to)
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Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. And one more thing I'll say on this is It doesn't mean if you're a projector, you can't at during periods of time do a lot. Like, I feel like I'm just coming to the end of one of those periods now, but I am noticing the energy was there for it, and now I'm noticing the energy's waning. So it's making sure I pay attention to that, that as that energy's going and I need to, there's a temptation to be like, no, I need to keep operating at the same level. But we're not here as projectors to do that. We're actually here to show other people how to rest, how to be more chill, how to take which the world really needs at the moment. Um, and how to be lazy. Like let's, let's embrace that. Instead of seeing lazy as a bad thing, it's like, yeah, I'm here to show you how to like chill the F out. a bit more

Brandi Healy: Like, my joke is when I'm, like, when I'm in my wisdom, like no one relaxes harder than I do. And it's like I invite other projector, uh, all types, like embrace that. Like relax harder than anyone else. You know, when , when it, when it suits you. Right? When it calls to you based on your, on what you need. All right, so should we keep going with these non sacral beings?

'cause I feel like usually we start

Kyle Wood: next?

[00:11:14] 'Who do you think you are?' The limited belief Manifestors may have
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Brandi Healy: Let's do Manifesters.

So, you know, manifesters are known as like the Trailblazers. So they're about 9% of the population. And they're, you know, out there like, kind of like, they like to say, they're like the ship starters. Like they're like the first to do things.

They like initiate and shock us into change and kind of they're meant to be.

You know, here to start new things and to inspire people to kind of follow. And so, you know, one of the things that you know, could be that negative self-talk is like telling yourself like, no one else is doing this or it hasn't been done before. Or who do I think I am to be the first?

Kyle Wood: yeah. I think that's such a big

one.

Brandi Healy: Or like thinking that other people are, are looking at you saying like, how dare they do that thing?

Or, you know, think that they will be the one to change X, Y, or Z. So I think that this is something, you know, that can come up for manifesters. And again, like with conditioning, if that's been either internally, that's your self-talk or that's been said to you aloud when you've . Tried to initiate things or be the first, um, and that's been tamped down.

It can be hard to really give yourself that permission and really own that role of saying like, this is what I'm, what I'm here to do.

Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yeah. And manifests is so Triggering as well, aren't they? Like I've been triggered by some online entrepreneurs that I know are manifest this big time. So I can imagine as a manifester, I've triggered people on the path by walking my own path. Someone's probably said to me at least once in my life, who do you think you are to do

Brandi Healy: Mm-hmm.

Kyle Wood: or to think this way?

[00:13:20] How to navigate feelings of guilt as a Manfestor
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Kyle Wood: When we've always done it this other way, it yeah, it would be hard. So yeah, so don't feel guilty for that. Not that I, you're a manifester, so I don't really need to tell you this, but don't feel guilty about that. Uh, yeah. You are, you are here to elicit that reaction because the two people in particular I'm thinking of who are manifesters, who triggered me in such a big way, I have like Huge amount of respect for now. So while they initially triggered me, it is that shock thing. And now because, because they walk their path, because they show us a different way. It's like, yeah, you really know what you're talking about and I'm actually paying a lot of attention now to what you are saying and doing. So,

yeah.

Brandi Healy: You know, like I grew up with, uh, my sister who I'm very close to is a manifester.

My daughter is a manifester and my brother's both , his two children are Manifesters. So it's like, you know, we have one that is a newborn right now, but you know, the four year old, the 10 year old, and you know, my adult sister, like they all have these

These personalities where they really do like walk their own path and like, like you said, they could, it could be really triggering. It's also can be really inspiring and they're such fun to be around when you let them.

Kyle Wood: Mm, mm-hmm. Yeah.

Brandi Healy: like, you know, like all, like all superpowers that like we have with our type and in our design.

It's like when we learn how to lean into or find, you know, that sweet spot where we're in the wisdom of, you know, our type or you know, whatever part of our design that it is, um, you know, we have the capacity to touch others so deeply with like our unique flavor. Right? it's like, you know, you said it really nicely.

Like you could either be highly triggered by them and repelled. Or you could just be changed and shifted and like,

Kyle Wood: Yeah.

Brandi Healy: you know, it's such an amazing way.

Kyle Wood: Yeah. All right.

on.

[00:15:33] Why Reflectors worry about being high-maintenance (or as Brandi likes to say 'a bit precious'
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Kyle Wood: Continuing on the non sacral. So should we chat about reflective.

Brandi Healy: Yes. So our, our, our reflectors the most rare type. So, you know, we've said this many times, they're about 1% of the population. And so Kyle, what is an area that reflectors might, you know, feel guilty for or fe or have negative self-talk or shade themself for?

Kyle Wood: Oh, I will explain why, but, uh, being a little high maintenance and feeling

Brandi Healy: Or as I like to call it, precious,

if they, they're , very precious

and particular, you know, or some words that either they might say about themself or may hear from others.

And what would make them so high maintenance or particular.

Kyle Wood: yeah.

[00:16:27] Why being picky is so important for Reflectors
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Kyle Wood: So let's, let's reframe that because that can be like, both those things can come across so negative. So another way to look at it is as reflectors. Completely. We've been talking a lot about centers, completely open centers, so they're taking in everything from the world and amplifying it, and that's where the ref name comes from.

Reflector. They're reflecting it back so as such, space, the people there around are so important. If they're in like a really a space that really doesn't feel good to them, that's really gonna impact them and impact the way that they're showing up. If they're around people who really don't make them feel good. that's also gonna impact them. So I think it's probably instinctual to them to wanna honor that and not be in spaces. I don't want to eat at this restaurant because I don't like it And then

Brandi Healy: Yeah, and that's enough.

Kyle Wood: and that's enough. Uh, and, and people seeing that as being like precious or high means. But for them to show up in their most like powerful, natural way, uh, it's just, it's a really important thing for 'em to honor. So just seeing that it's like you have, you may feel like you're taking things away from other people by wanting to be around different people or, uh, be in different spaces, be in different areas than what the group or the other person you're with wants to be in.

But you're actually gonna show up. The strongest, and you're gonna be the most, um, blanking on the word here. The, you're gonna have the most to give when you honor that.

Brandi Healy: Mm-hmm. . Yes, exactly. So, you know, you're like the megaphone, right?

Of like, The energy , you're, you're the amplifier. You're blowing up whatever is happening. And if that doesn't feel good to you, it's like that's what you will be amplifying. And so, you know, with the reflectors that I have worked with, like this is one of the pieces that I think really kind of gave them an aha moment of

You know, their sensitivity not being something negative, but really being something that they could use to their advantage. To show up in a way that serves not only themselves, but the people that they're on in their around in a better way.

Kyle Wood: Mm. Yeah. so hang in there reflectors. Don't be,

don't Be

worried about coming across pressures or high maintenance like

Brandi Healy: You know, and I think some tips for that is like, Do your research, you know, so it's like, it, it know the, the restaurants you like to go to or, you know, look at pictures of, you know, places that you're going to go. Or before you meet someone in person, maybe talk to them on the phone or do a Zoom chat with them.

Like, you know, as much as you can try to energetically feel things out, um,

in that anticipation of no, because, you know, . Um, what it is that you need and that can, you know, maybe save you a little bit of time if you are the one to say to maybe recommend where you wanna go eat or, you know, the hotel you wanna stay in on vacation.

Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yeah. And, and like your people will understand, like they won't view you

that way.

Brandi Healy: Yes.

Kyle Wood: it's a maybe a sign that it's time to find some more supportive friends if everyone's making you feel that way. Um, should we talk about the generators? The generator types?

Brandi Healy: Yes.

Kyle Wood: Okay.

Brandi Healy: Let's,

Kyle Wood: All right.

[00:20:18] How Generators can fall into the people pleasing trap
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Kyle Wood: Let's just talk about straight up generators to start with. So the thing you might, as a generator feel guilty about is being seen as selfish. Let's explain why.

Brandi Healy: yeah. So what . I have found is generators oftentimes feel selfish about saying no.

Kyle Wood: Hmm.

Brandi Healy: Saying no, and setting boundaries. And you know, with both generators and manifesting generators, they have this really consistent energy throughout the day, and they have a capacity to do a lot and to go for long periods of time.

The catch is. when they are doing things that are deeply satisfying to them and when they are doing things that they feel led up by, oftentimes this can be perceived by others because they recognize how much energy these people have of asking them for things,

Kyle Wood: Mm-hmm.

Brandi Healy: and generators can feel obligated and look at their schedule and say, I have the time for that.

I have the energy for that. , I want to please this person. I should just say yes. And when they fill their time up with things that aren't, not lighting them up, that feel frustrating versus satisfying, that can lead them to feeling really burnt out and depleted. And when they say no,

Kyle Wood: Mm-hmm.

Brandi Healy: to focus on things that light them up.

That's where they can, you know, have those moments of feeling selfish or guilted into, you know, saying yes to things when, when they really mean no.

Kyle Wood: Yeah.

[00:22:19] Learning the skill of saying no as a Generator
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Kyle Wood: And the, the difference here is like night and day, like the generators who have learned to say no and prioritize their own joy and excitement are just like You know, people will be like, you have the, the thing they'll start getting then is you've got too much energy, 'cause they're

just so like on about the things that they like to do. Whereas the generators who are have not learned the skill are just like buried under like a weight of obligations of things that other people want them to do. And, um, Yeah, so you can feel, so I think as a generator, if you are just starting out with this, just start by prioritizing something that lights you up and gets you excited over that.

And then as you start prioritizing that, it'll start becoming easier to say no to things. But it's definitely gonna feel uncomfortable, um, doing this at the start, but know that you'll have more energy. And you'll actually be more, like you said, you'll be, have more of an impact on those around you, a positive impact by prioritizing the things you enjoy, uh, first. Um, then you will if you're just constantly prioritizing everyone else's needs first.

Brandi Healy: We've been working with a client on exactly this around, know, making sure that they are giving themselves kind of like breaks to reconnect with themselves when, because not all of your obligations are gonna light you up, right? Some of the things you can't say no to, but there's still a guilt. Of doing things for themself, of doing things that just do to for the sake of that they enjoy them because it's like, oh, but I could be doing something else for someone else.

And like this is a reminder that when you prioritize your satisfaction and joy, , it makes you more magnetic to more things like that

when you are prioritizing just like being frustrated and maybe angry or feeling super depleted. Just more things like that are gonna come your way.

Kyle Wood: Yeah.

Yep.

Brandi Healy: you know, it is important to, like, if you're looking at your schedule, whether it's for the day of the week, the month being like, okay, cool.

There are things on here that can't go anywhere. , I don't love them, but where can I put things in? Whether it's, you know, a walk with my dog in the morning or time at the end of the day to like go for a bike ride or read a book that I enjoy. Watch a television show that's fun. Work on a hobby that I like.

It doesn't matter what it is, big or small, it's just . Lighting that gut up and you know, you know, kind of reconnecting with yourself and, and your own, your own joy versus everyone else's.

Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yeah. And as we transition to manifesting generators, we will say, like, this will show up for manifesting generators too, because remember you've got that

Brandi Healy: Mm-hmm.

Kyle Wood: part in you. Um, But we have thought of something that's even more specific to manifesting generators. Which do you want to intro this one?

Brandy?

[00:25:54] Why Manifesting Generators can worry that they come off as flaky
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Brandi Healy: Yes, so manifesting generators, you might, you know, feel bad or your self-talk, your negative self-talk might go to a place of like, I am flaky.

I can't stick to one thing. And you know, like I, um, you know, I hop around to different hobbies or different interests, different jobs, um, between different friend groups even, you know, and those people can feel guilty for not taking the air quotes traditional path of like, Choosing a vocation or choosing a, you know, straight line and theirs might look a little bit more like a maze than A from A to B.

Um, And so this is a very, very common one that comes up for, for manifesting generators. And, you know, so Kyle, what are, you know, what are the, some of the things to remind manifesting generators when they have these feelings of feeling flaky or obligated

to stay in one thing because they don't wanna feel flaky.

[00:27:15] How to embrace your multi-passionate, pivoting self as an MG
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Kyle Wood: Yeah, I mean that, you know, in a way that is your, that's like a little, little signal that's a little bit of information when that interest is starting to wane, um, that it is time for you to move on to the next thing. So I think the thinking about how it can look is a good, an example, I was just thinking of a friend who's got, who's a manifesting generator and like he, he's a mechanic and then he went into like the service desk and then he went to another car dealership that sells a different type of car and worked at their service desk desk. Then like this was all like with like a year or two at each, and then he went back to, uh, another Yeah, it was a different dealership working on the cars again. And there he works for like the head office for this car manufacturer here in Australia. Um, doing, doing other stuff again and again. He, he made that move 'cause he's like, he knew I'm gonna want to change again.

So I want to move into an environment that gives me like The most options of where I can go. And he, he, yeah. So, and he doesn't, I mean, he, I've talked to him about this, but he is not super into human design. This is just a manifesting generator just operating out in the world like a, a wild,

Brandi Healy: In the wild

Kyle Wood: peacock, doing their thing. So yeah, like the generators though, if you stick to this thing past The point of your interest and it's, yeah, it's gonna just start draining your energy instead of like using your energy in a nice way and then replenishing your energy. And again, for those around you, they're actually best served by you. Sopping and changing and just informing people, being like, Hey, I'm doing this now. Hey, I'm doing that now. And because of your energy, because manifesting generators are so magnetic. People won't care like as much as you think. Maybe if they do, it's like it's some hangup they've got, maybe they're jealous that, that you get to do this. But in general, as long as you, you take the time to just like tell the people around you, Hey, I'm gonna go do this now. Most people will be like, excited for you because they

can see your excitement in the thing. So as long as you're keeping, prioritizing that satisfaction and joy, excitement about the things that you're doing, um, then go for it.

And also feel free to like, be multi-passionate, have lots of different. Things that you're doing at once, don't feel like stay away from that advice that you have to like niche down and stick to one thing and do it

Brandi Healy: Oh my gosh. That's like.

Kyle Wood: become an expert. Like no

Brandi Healy: That's like a manifesting generator's, like worst nightmare is the word, like the word niche. Niche down. They're like, but I wanna do, I wanna do,

Kyle Wood: Yeah.

Brandi Healy: like, do 16 things, get after it.

Kyle Wood: Yeah. I would follow people. Yeah. Other multi-passionate people and Online and people who talk about like, pivoting and recreating your business. And like if you're, if you're into the business space like that, that's who I would follow. And even in places where I work, uh, working for people who've also done lots of different things and had like a big background can, could feel really good because that'll just help give you permission to be like, this is just a normal way to operate and I'm not being flaky. Um, I'm not being wishy-washy by changing all the time, but actually I'm, this is a valid way to show up in the world.

Brandi Healy: So much fun and yeah, the reminder for, you know, like we said for both generators, manifesting generators is like this can't be repeated enough. Like when you prioritize your joy , everyone around you

Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:25] Some reminders for all of us when we're sending ourselves on a guilt trip
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Brandi Healy: And you know, I think that that's just like a, with that, I think like, you know, a reminder for all of us that like no matter what our type is, we all need rest.

We all need alone time and we all need to do things that like nurture ourselves. And I think that's universally something that people in general make themselves feel go guilty

Kyle Wood: Yeah. Yeah.

Brandi Healy: Is like taking that time alone.

Um, or

Kyle Wood: US two. We're not

Brandi Healy: yeah, us included

And, and it's like, and it, it, and it doesn't even taking time, you know, to like. Spend on your business, or maybe it's spending time, like if you're a parent, to like spend time alone with your partner away from your children. Like, there's so many different flavors of that, right? Um, but you know, we're not single dimensional beings,

And so it's just like, it's important that we nurture ourselves, we nurture the relationships that are important to us, and. The passions in our life that you know where we find joy

Kyle Wood: Amen.

Brandi Healy: So stop shading all over yourself.

Kyle Wood: that's right. Yeah. I'll include these, uh, uh, points in the show notes so that, um, if you, you know, after you've listened to this and you're like, oh, what is that thing I need to look out for? Uh, and just, just notice when it comes up. Uh, not everyone's into journaling, but it could be a helpful thing to journal and be like, when do I feel this way? Or when do I make myself feel this way? Like around what things, 'cause that could be a bit of a sign of, I. An area where you can start working on this. And before we go, I just do wanna say like, work has begun on the well-designed website, which I'm very excited about. Um, so you'll be able to go there and listen to previous episodes and we'll just be able to organize episodes a bit differently as well.

Like for example, we've got all the Centers episodes, we'll be able to have them all together. Uh, and we'll just be continuing to add resources to this website, um, articles, things like that around using human design as a wellness professional, as a health professional to help create more alignment in your business and day-to-day life.

Brandi Healy: Thanks, Kyle.

Kyle Wood: You are welcome. All right, uh, be sure to hit the follow button or the subscribe button if you've got it there. If you wanna listen to more episodes like this. And also before to check out, be sure to check out our previous episodes if you just join us for the first time. And thank you for listening.

Brandi Healy: Thanks so much.

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